Little girls dream of the day they will say “I do.”  At least that was the case with our baby girl.  After attending weddings, Joy would go home and pull out her wedding list and write another song that she wanted sung on her wedding day.  Many conversations happened around the subject of who to marry.  What kind of guy, how he would look, and what we expected of him as parents. It is natural for a girl and a guy to like each other.  God made it that way.  As parents, we must not stifle the thought of such.  At a young age we began teaching our 2 sons that you can have a girl that is a friend but not a girlfriend until you graduate from high school.  We taught our daughter the same.  You can have a guy that is a friend but not a boyfriend until you graduate from high school .

Teens desire to have a boyfriend or a girlfriend for many different reasons.  Sometimes it is for acceptance.  Sometimes dating is for social reasons. Sometimes teens desire to date because they begin looking for a mate.  The reasons vary but the result of finding a mate is the same.  A teen should set guidelines for themselves and live by them. Teen, welcome the guidelines of your parents, as they are interested in your future and have been down the road a bit further than you have.  Parents, instill the guidelines in such a way that you do not provoke your children to wrath. Ephesians 6:4 “And,ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.”  Colossians 3:21 “Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

Some suggestions for guidelines are:

1.              I will not date until college.

2.              I will seek to date someone within two years of my age. Growing old together is better than one person becoming old and settled in their ways and leaving                    the other behind.

3.              I will date someone who meets the approval of my parents. Keep the lines of communication open.

4.              I will not allow myself to be used by a guy for physical gratification.

5.              I will honor God on a date.

6.              I will not go to dishonorable places.

7.              I will group date to get to know each other through the means of conversation with others.

8.              I will never put myself in a tempting situation by being alone in the wrong places.

9.              I will learn to communicate well.

10.            I will be responsible for my actions and reactions; which includes practicing self-control and lady-like behavior.

11.            I will dress in such a way that I do not look sensual so that I may not hinder my usefulness to God.

12.            I will give my date a chance to be courteous.  

13.            I will practice discernment.  I once read that “character in short is, biblical godliness.”  

14.            I will date someone who likes my parents and siblings. It has been said that when you marry someone, you marry their family as well.

15.            I will date someone that will be my spiritual leader.

              -        Is he a leader in the youth group?

               -       Does he attend your church or a church of like faith?

               -       What kind of music does he listen to?

               -       Does he have his personal devotions?

               -       Does he know how to pray?

               -       Will he pray with you on a date?

               -       Does he tithe?

               -       Does he serve in his church?

Dating is a spiritual, moral and emotional issue. Take the maturity test to check your readiness for dating.  

(1)            Do you complete your homework?

(2)            Do you do your best in school?

(3)            Do you return from activities on time?

(4)            Do you follow family rules?

(5)            Do you respect the wishes of your parents?

(6)            Do you respect authority?

(7)            Are you honest with your parents?

The more maturity a teen shows, the more freedom and independence they can be trusted with.  Such qualities as integrity, dependability and respect should become a part of their character before they are allowed the privilege to date. With freedom comes responsibility and with responsibility comes freedom.

Parent, here are four thoughts for you to consider. 1.Where they are going. It is your responsibility to make sure that every date is planned, and you know the details. Before leaving your home, the guy should clearly tell you where they will be going and the details of your date.  2. When to be home.  Anyone with a respectable reputation should have a decent time to be home.  There may be exceptions such as a late-night bowling event with your church.  3.No hanging out. Hanging out is unacceptable whether it is in a parking lot or at a place of business.  4. Ask questions. Ask about the date when your child returns home.  Parents, ask questions in detail; teens give detail when describing your evening.  5.  Accept responsibility and accountability. Keep in mind that parents are responsible for their children as long as they are in your home, and children are accountable to their parents as long as they live in the home.

What dating thoughts do you have?

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